Wings

fall day and Taco Soup

2011-11-11T07:47:00.002-06:00

ok blogger friends, you are gonna be glad you took the time to read this one.... I woke very early this morning, not to greet the day with vigor and enthusiasm, but rather because I couldn't sleep. I hate that feeling of lying in bed trying to fall back asleep. So here I am not even 8 am and I have been up for hours. Among my sketchy plans for the day, I have decided to honor this cool sunny fall day with some hot spicy taco soup.
Today is 11/11/11 whoopie....just numbers we humans put to days, nothing devine in this. But now taco soup, that is something divine, that is something you can sink your teeth into. I wish I could say that my recipe is handed down to me by generations of family cooks, but I was not one of those lucky ones with generations of anything. I never knew my grandparents, my father died when I was a young girl and my mother lost her mother when she was a toddler. So my connection to good cookin is stuck with my mom ( who is an excellent cook), the food network and an addiction to cook books. This recipe came to me from Shirley at the Ice Cream store in Eureka Springs AR. John loves Shirleys vegetable soup, I love her husband Richard's ice cream strawberry soda! Thus the difference between John's and my bodies. Anyway back to the taco soup. I have made this soup for many a Circle of Nations member, from retreats to Christmas parties a Peggy staple...
Taco Soup
1 lb ground beef ( I use diet lean)
1 small onion chopped well
1 pk of taco seasonings
1 can rotel tomatoes
2 cans stewed tomatoes
2 cans pinto beans
1 small package of frozen corn ( I use the steam type with peppers)
salt and pepper to taste
1 tsp sugar
brown ground beef well with onion, add seasonings, then throw everything else in the pot..add corn last, cook for about 1 hour pour in bowl top with shredded cheddar or monterey jack or whatever you like top that with sour cream and taco chips. Enjoy!!!

imagination

2011-11-04T11:21:00.002-05:00

Perhaps if I look at this picture long enough, I can conjer up the medicine in this piece of art. At times I do remember feeling like this...and I certainly innvite the magic now. But some days are not red road days, they are blue road days. Today I seem to be traveling on one of these roads. Not by my own choice or my own design, but by the very nature of being human beings we have these days. This is why I appreciate music and humor and art and magic, because they comfort us in our blue day and encourage us on our red day. Today I could just use a bigggg huggg. You know the old saying woke up on the wrong side of the bed, well thats me. And if you know me, you know I am just extremely honest and open with my feelings. So blogging friends when you think of me today...send a hug!

Real Peace

2011-11-01T11:18:00.003-05:00

Hello Blogging friends:
long time I have been away, good to be back.......
I took a walk today through the Circle of Nations Medicine Garden (barefoot, thank you Morten) This time was good for me. A friend posed a question today...What do you believe? The only answer I could come up with at the time was I believe I need to go get a cup of coffee, it was early this morning. Now with caffiene in place I am in some way ready to tackle this question. I believe in real peace and in real connection. Real peace happens at the dying bed of your dear friend, picking up your child from the police station, hearing the door shut as your lover walks out for good....and on and on and on. Real peace says this is it....and this is not it. It allows tons of space for hope and doesn't sugar coat a rancid moment. I wonder, what did the Madoff family need with billions of $s....they needed real peace, real connection. And unfortunately you cannot buy these powerful intangible elements. The Medicine Garden is dear to my heart. I have seen tons of healing and connection take place on this little 5 acre area in the middle of nowhere. So what do I believe.... my beliefs change and grow and sometimes show up in the size of a mustard seed. I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. I believe in fudge brownies for my body and awesome sunsets for my soul.
I pose this question to you...What do you believe?

on the road again

2011-08-02T08:20:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning early so I could beat the heat. I thought I would get a running start on packing the rig and preparing for a road trip. Well I snuck up on it, but it clobbered back. So here I sit in the air conditioned house with several more loads of things to pack. Of course now that I need to print things to go....my printer says no. That is so much like life. Oh best laid plans.....well new plan. I do hope it rains here in Northwest Arkansas. The trees look so thirsty. I always am a little anxious about leaving the comforts of my little nest here in the mountains, but the road hold adventure and opportunities. Stay or go, either way I am blessed. But this time, I get to see my grandson, so that is worth it all! Don't even get me started xoxoxoxx...love...love...love.....xoxoxxo. The heat messengers like the spider, bees and butterfly messengers are letting us know it is time to wise up and smell the environment. We can all do a little and that little will help. Fear and worry are totally useless, what is useful is love and hope. Good is good, God is good, you are good...love is good, hope is good....BE GOOD!!

more intentions

2011-07-27T07:58:00.002-05:00

My friends have been encouraging me to blog, to share, to write. Somehow life got in the way of my writing about life. Living is good, loving is better, being loved is the best! My dreams and intentions are collected in this circle of life. When I blow on them, like this dandelion, they scatter and take form in the air. I can't see them but I know they are the seeds that grow a million more intentions and dreams. When I put the breath of life to them, the gift of life from God they take wings and give my life purpose and hope. I am a true believer. I believe in dandelion wings and birthday candle wishes, falling stars and fortune cookies. I believe in rainbows that display the love of God. I cannot even imagine what it is to not imagine, to not believe. Each breath is a miracle to me. Even in the onslaught of life, the disappointments, the rejections, the doubts...I still see a sliver of the moon and I hang onto it with a single thread of stubborn conviction. Love will see my intentions through. Life is good....dream no small dream...put them on the wings of a dandelion and blow. Believe!!

Beauty Music

2011-05-18T09:55:00.002-05:00

While traveling across the US on tour 7 years ago with Seamus Byrne, he and I would intend new projects. The beauty music project was one of them. We wanted to create music that would encourage the inner beauty in its listeners. We wanted to create a message that true beauty is not found in a bottle of makeup or in the eyes of a fickle and blind society, but in the inner soul. Because we live in a society that has become fixated on youth and equates beauty with a size 2 female waif and a muscle bound man, we have left out 98% of the people and even the 2 percent of people with perfect bodies feel inadequate. Why? Because beauty is in the wrinkles, in the real and true self. Beauty is in the diversity of the forest and the not so perfect life. Beauty is in the hope after the flood and in the getting up after being knocked down. Beauty is in the arthritic hands that have given a lifetime of service and love. Beauty is found where beauty abides, in the still small places and in the aged faces. A child's eyes and butterflies, that is where beauty abides. And when we know that... we will feel beautiful and will be able to see true beauty in everyone we meet. Sir Charles Hammer, my friend who has now passed over to the other world, was and is a man of beauty. His hugs were truly rich and his music is forever alive. Seamus Byrne, my Irish brother and troubadour understands the beauty of the goodness of God and John Two-Hawks' music can be described as nothing if not beautiful. These three have given beautiful music to the world. Cynthia De'Robbins, your painting is exquisite as are you.

Thank you for the gift of "Beauty Music".

why

2011-05-05T14:23:00.002-05:00

It has been a while since I have written in my blog. Working on publishing my new book of poetry "The Wind of My Soul" has taken up time as well as being on the road with the new "Vision Seeker Tour". Ok excuses behind me. Today I am wondering why? This can be a dangerous preoccupation. We may see answers we don't want to look into. At my age I am very comforted by being able to say. I don't know. The few things I do know and am convinced of I only have my own experience to depend on to know them. Like, a glimmer of hope and light will always show up in the darkest moments. Like, I will have what I need when I need it and I surely am not just this body of bones, flesh and blood. Love is worth it....Music speaks to the true self.....God is good....a true friend will forgive you....we are co-creators of our lives....chocolate is good....life and love are easy....life and love are tough...what you put into this world, you will receive from this world. Why...I don't know but who, that I know.

Live it

2011-04-26T10:16:00.003-05:00

Live it!
Poetry and blood course through my veins.
As I crave my morning coffee, I search for words.
Coffee is my blood, cream and sugar my poetry,
my being, my essence.

What is life without the art? A structure of walls and rules.
Our spirit must soar, experience and imagine.
Our ego and fear is loud.
The self's center must be coaxed to speak above the noise.

I am love, I am beauty, I am spirit and faith.
I have nothing to fear. I lack absolutely nothing.
The storms, though my roots, will not define my wings.
Walls are for displaying art and this body is to house my spirit.

I am free to fly and to be who I am.
I delight in life and dream no small dreams.
This it it,
Live it!

April inside

2011-04-05T08:07:00.002-05:00

April is buried deep inside my soul,
yellow sun worshippers and little purple feet huggers.
April is a hope in the chill of my bones,
it is a truth in an ocean of lies,
healing, singing, wavering, life bringer.
Rebirth after death, isn't that what we all want, what we sort of believe in December.
April says its true,
April lives in me and you!

just real

2011-03-31T08:46:00.002-05:00

I really love living in the Ozarks. As I look out my window, everything is kind of discombobulated and uneven. The natural world is not a manicured world here. It is interesting and alive with spirit. Being a child of the 60s, I totally embraced the no bra, no makeup, no pretense era.
The misfit that I am just fit in (well that is an oxymoron). Lets just say I found a little of myself in the movement. And you can take the girl out of the 60s, but you can't take the 60s out of the girl. Oh, I do appreciate the well groomed rose garden, but I find my imagination in the little purple flower popping up to say hello amid the just real. We have a world full of beauty queens and muscle beach types. We live in a world of superficial facebook relationships and fast food friendships. Oh how I long for the times we actually touched each other and thought and actually believed in "World Peace". A time before the world changed us, when we believed we would change the world. Now from the top of the rung to the bottom, we jockey for position with strong wills and weak imaginations. I am so grateful for my Ozark home. On a trip to the bank or the grocery store, I can spend more time visiting with neighbors than doing my errands. I am so thankful for the birds, the mountains, the weedy overgrown road sides, the slow moving and talking folks that couldn't give a rats ass what I drive or where I live. I can drive past the gym, straight to the coffee shop. I can forget to comb my hair and slip on a large sweatshirt to hide my bra-less frame and the people I meet will look at me in the eyes and stir my imagination with kind conversation. You can keep your CNN and Fox News, I prefer to get my whats up from Buck Pyatt or Barbara Harmony or one of many purple flowers growing up just to say hello, growing up through imagination and beauty.......just real.

green and ancient moments

2011-03-20T11:19:00.003-05:00

Life is new everyday and everyday old.
Green grasses and new mini purple flowers,
shower my life with passion and wings.
Stone people with wrinkled stories give me
ground to hold me to truth and responsibility.
Wings for dreaming, roots for giving.
What a perfect union of mother earth and father sky, of green and ancient moments

bling bling arbor

2011-03-10T13:11:00.003-06:00

We are close to spring in the Ozarks. I can reach my hand out and almost touch it. I hear the little hellos from the daffodils on the side of the road. I can envision walking in the Medicine Garden and feeling the rebirth all around me. I am aware that the redbuds and dogwoods are about to fill the garden of my life with extravagant beauty. And lilacs........the smell of fresh lilacs in large vases scattered thoughout the house, with the windows open and a gentle breeze filling my nest with the awareness of my own rebirth. I love lilacs and lilies of the valley. Lilies of the Valley, pure and innocence, just plain evidence of God's abiding love! I can still remember being a child and waiting for spring vacation from school, knowing that summer and freedom was right around the corner. I have never lost that sence of wonder and hope. My life has been filled with these moments and I am too stubborn to let hatred, negativity and evil overpower the love I feel all around me. The risen Christ, the hope of humanity, the Creator of this spring rebirth has not for one moment left me or you. The cold of life and winter may create in us doubt and pain. Do not be fooled by what shouts for attention. Listen to the small voice. A lily of the valley is more powerful than a storehouse of weapons. A small candle will always illuminate no matter how dark the surrounding. I pray for you today, that in your heart you may have hope and a glimpse of spring!

possibilities

2011-02-18T08:16:00.003-06:00

I've not got the most put together pond. As a matter a fact it is a lot like me. Sort of put together with mismatched recyled parts. We put our pond up several years ago using left over rocks from our house building project. The pond is uneven so the water is always higher on one side then the other. The black plastic shows thru and because John doesn't want to use chemicals or kill little growing things...the pond is usually full of algae and millions of little tadpoles. If you really know me, you'd be surprised how much this does describe me. Anyway, in all this misfit pond mess arrives this most exquisite water lily each year. Nothing could be more beautiful then this perfection which pokes it humble and magnificent beauty up through the dirty toad filled water. Breath taking!! I am ok with being off center a bit because I know that my Creator sees beauty in me and can create the loveliest flowers in the most unusual places. Living in Arkansas, we are surrounded by the natural, unkept forest. I have grown to love the wild flowers and the unexpected bold beauty which surrounds me as I become one with this place. I am so glad that we are so different from one another. I too like beautiful designed roses from the florist.... but I will take a lily of the valley or a wild daisy over those perfect roses any day....to each his own!

Spring

2011-02-09T12:34:00.003-06:00

ok Luella this one is for you!
Nothing stays the same. As I watch the snow outside my window, I am aware that in a few short weeks the dogwoods and redbuds will start to bloom. This knowledge actually helps me to enjoy the 16 inches of snow and still falling on my deck. It is lovely and I am still in my jammies at 1:00pm and will probably be in them until the snow melts on Fri. or Sat. Nothing stays the same. The struggles and challenges I face now will be gone sooner than I can blink an eye. They will be replaced by new ones. But what really needs my attention are the snow flakes and the tons of hungry birds feasting on my bird feeders outside the window. These beautiful yellow flowers will need my full attention in a few short months. These are the changes that we can count on and live for. Our creator is so incredibly good to us. Each breath is a gift, each moment a miracle as we try each day to find our way out of this darkness we have created for ourselves. As Nancy said so well "Even when we stumble, even when we fall, there is still light around it all". There lies wisdom, not in our actions, but in the beauty and light that is found in the snowflakes, the daffodils, the courage and honesty of a true friend and in the hope that love does cover a multitude of sin. We humans are so flawed, so fearful and so needy. But that all doesn't matter much in the eyes of love. We are perfect and brave and capable in the eyes of love. We are as lovely as the simple yellow flowers or the gentle white snow flakes. In the light of perfect sight, in the light that surrounds us, we are pure beauty.

things that matter

2011-02-06T13:00:00.002-06:00

Walt Disney got it right! He figured out and designed magic. He found a way to remind us one and all that the most important thing to remember in this life is to have Fun... he must have had an old Indian sage for a mentor. Anyway this is the wisdom of the Grandmothers!
"Laughter is the WD 40 of the soul" Laughing at yourself will take years off your life. Seriously, why be so serious? After all, there is not one thing you can do to turn back the clock...and why would you want to anyway. We all know life is tough, sad and impossible, so why not laugh right in it's scary face. Lightness is the way to dance and to fly. To discover your dreams and your life, you must let go of all the heaviness, the unfounded fear and especially the anger. Nothing is heavier to carry than anger. Life is fun, unpredictable and magical. Just look at the stars in the clear night sky. Why not make a huge dragon today out of legos or take a child sledding. Or crawl into your jammies and cover up in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and read some awesome poetry. Conduct a symphony in your mind or just think 12 impossible thoughts before breakfast. Find the magic, find the lightness and spread the love. A smile is the first step, come on be brave you can do it... "Make your life come true"

inspired

2011-01-22T11:23:00.002-06:00

I am inspired by real people
Once while sitting at Nancy Cooper Maier's house, I was so inspired I came home and wrote
five poems.
I am inspired by humble people
after spending time with my friend Seamus, I must get down off my high horse and even
consider the possibility that I may be wrong
I am inspired by loving people
sit and talk with John Two-Hawks for awhile and I find it hard to wish ill on
my enemies...even the real nasty ones
I am inspired by artistic people
I look around at the young people at Nightwish concerts and I strive to find words
as eloquent as Tuomas writes
I am inspired by brave people
my sister Sue, who gave up a successful career to give full love and attention to her
three grandchildren, who really have nothing to give back
I am inspired by so so many people
these spirits that surround us are our teachers and our guides
I thank you all so much!!

Magnificent Artist

2011-01-19T13:46:00.002-06:00

Sitting inside a cold square room in front of a sterile dell. I am looking at a pic I took several years ago and marveling at the wonder of the artist...not exquisite photo...the artist. The constant blue sky, the song of the cedar tree and the magnificent touch of the rainbow sun. There would be no picture for me to take, no breath for me to breath without the Hand of the Almighty Creator. I feel sometimes so disconnected. Do you? I think we are living in a time of disconnect.
Text messages, facebook, cell phones, computers, distant families and this wonderful world of technology.......has disconnected us from intimacy, from true friendship and true communication. Why, the more friends you have on facebook, the lonelier you feel. I always thought a friend was someone I could borrow a cup of sugar from. Someone I could laugh with and cry with. As I read the great jokes online, I laugh alone. As I send out prayer requests I cry alone. We have in some ways created a prison for ourselves and become way too self possessed. I wonder will we gain back a true community. Will we see a world again as simple and as beautiful as it was created to be. I watch teenagers in a group, they are texting. They are not even looking each other in the eyes, reaching beyond the superficial into the spirit. A text will never be a hug. A playstation will never be a game of kickball with friends. A new cell phone will never be a cheer of encouragement from your mom and dad. Things are not love. And typed words are not heart songs. Connect to the artist and the art will fill your soul!

cleaning and dreaming

2011-01-05T14:37:00.003-06:00

Hello 2011 you wonderful opportunity. I have finally begun to tackle my office. Papers from the last 6 years. John is on his way to the recycle center with two huge garbage cans full of old papers. I was prompted on New Years Eve day to take on this mess when LJ ( my little 5 year old friend) asked Uncle John, why this room so junky?...John promptly sent him to me and when I told him I was going to sort the papers, He said"why you not throw them away"? Hmmmm, I never thought of that. So on with the mission to get organized. It can happen you know ( I see that smerk of doubt on your lips sister Suzie) It will happen and it must happen. My dream is to afford myself more time for poetry and photography. Perhaps, I will actually some day be able to find a piece of paper I am looking for without begging poor St. Anthony for one more favor. Not that I don't have a ton of other prayer request for my most favorite St. But hey why should he always clean up my mess, when some things I can handle. And after all that shall be the biggest miracle of all....me surrounded by only clean organized space! It can be done, it must be done! Try to stop me......no crossword puzzle..not now...solitaire..no no ...later. Well of course there is always tomorrow NO NO NO!!
Lead us not into temptation. Tune in to the next blog, when my office will be completely organized. Till then I am cleaning and dreaming

New days

2010-12-31T09:54:00.003-06:00

I love stepping into a new adventure. It is like putting on a new pair of shoes or holding a newborn grandson in your arms. New is good. Old ways are good ways too... but this blog is about NEW! I have so much to look forward to in 2011. Three new music productions for Circle Studios records and JTH and finally...drum roll please.........................................My new book.
I am publicly making this pronouncement as a subtle kick in my own @#%
This is why resolutions are so Good. But please don't make yours about losing weight or exercising that is such an old resolution. Try something new, something fun...something daring and dangerous that puts you out of your comfort zone! Get ready and at the stroke of midnight (if you are awake) or first thing in the morning when you awake, have a dream with your cup of coffee. New friends, new food, new adventure, new shoes, new dreams, new hopes, new convictions...... Go for it!

memory

2010-12-20T09:42:00.003-06:00

I watched a program last night about memory. People who can remember every day of their lives. Wow, incredible. I quite honestly cannot remember waking up this morning and drinking coffee. Half the time I do not know what day it is and certainly cannot remember back as far as last week. Perhaps my memory has been stunted... too much of the 60s floating around in there. But I am certainly happy that these wonder-people are coming out of the wood work. Scientists will probe and prod until they can figure out some way to make some money off of this, I am sure. I am just amazed at the wonder of it, the same as I am amazed at the wonder of this flower. My amazement center is in working on all its cylinders, even if I don't remember it once it is passed. I am purely content in the moment of amazement. There seems to be plenty of beauty and mystical magic in each day... that if I forget, more will reveal themselves the next moment. We are all so wonderfully created, some with perfect memory, some with perfect forgetfulness. I truly love diversity and am so happy that we are not too similar, it makes for many magic moments, it makes for a field of wildflowers and a perfectly sculptured garden. Beauty surrounds us, in the sunshine and in the snowfall. Beauty is revealed in the simple forest creek and the mighty ocean. We have absolutely no shortage of beauty, no recession on beauty, no deficit of beauty. Celebrate Beauty today!!

inspired

2010-12-18T07:57:00.003-06:00

Often when I want to be inspired I return to Ireland in my heart and mind. I taste some simple magic. I am pretty much ready for Christmas...packages sent, cookies baked, shopping done. Only thing missing for me is
inspiration. Sometimes a little snow can bring that much needed holiday feeling. But I am certainly not asking for snow. The days of family Christmas are far behind me. Now a days we are all spread apart. I won't watch the light in my grandsons eyes as they dream and wait for Santa. No mistle toe or frantic party preparations. I learned 40 some years ago to let those festive feelings go. I learned in life that things most the time don't have a way of going the direction that you want. I learned that when tears well up to let them flow and when laughter is near to let it go and hold tight to the joy it brings. I look forward to a quiet Christmas Eve with a glass of wine and a stereo filled with Bing Crosby along with my 27 foot lighted Christmas tree that sits in my front window, lonely for grandchildren. Such a glorious tree don't mean much, right Charlie Brown? But I sure am thrilled to spend the evening with my sweet husband and my angel mother. I have learned that little things aren't so little and to find the treasure in that which we have and not look for it some place else. There is a light that shines and sometimes we just need to have the eyes and the vision to see the simple magic.

Billy

2010-12-11T13:34:00.002-06:00

For some reason I am thinking of Billy. I just finished reading Wolf at Twilight, so my mind is taken up with my Indian family. Billy, John's spirit brother died several years ago on John's birthday Sept 25th. Billy was one of the kindest most real people I knew. What you saw you got. He had no illusion of what being Indian meant. He always treated me with delight at every occasion we were together. He had a zest for life and for his family. His dad Bill Two-Horses is a very strong Indian man and I am sure the death of his son has pained him way more than any of his war wounds. He was injured in two wars and survived a hurrific auto accident and yet the loss of this son is far more painful. Our families are what count. Our friends and our relationships are what are most important. This busy season... just forget about the hustle and bustle and hold close to those you love for those moments will soon pass. I pretty much know for sure that I will see Billy again, but what is most important to me now is his memory and the friendship and closeness we shared. His humor, his honestly and his connection to his culture is what stands out to me most...also and certainly not least his humility. Billy was able to be in the backround and was perfectly comfortable there. John and I have lost some dear family and friends these last few years and to me those who have walked on are still in my heart and very much alive. Merry Christmas Billy...Merry Christmas Nancy... Merry Christmas George...Merry Christmas
Sir Charles...Merry Christmas Father Bob......Merry Christmas to all!!

Christmas

2010-12-07T09:20:00.004-06:00

John and I are both kind of Christmas Crazy. We took down the boxes of Christmas decorations from the attic yesterday, all 10 or 12 huge boxes full. We began to decorate our 12 foot pre-lighted Christmas tree. John on a ladder and me sorting thru a lifetime of memories. It is a three day task to decorate, this is day two. The tree is up and is absolutely beautiful. Dragonflies, birds, and shiny things fill up every spot of that enormous tree and it reminds me of our lives. So full, so many memories, friends, family and such good stuff. John loves Christmas, probably because as a child it is his one fond memory. Christmas was a good day sandwiched in the middle of 364 not so good days. For me this is true also. Christmas meant mom and dad, siblings, aunts and uncles and I was only able to spend 12 years that way. So for the past 40 some years I have been trying to re create those precious moments, unsuccessfully I might add. But John and I have made our own traditions and Christmas cheer. As I sort thru my treasures I come across the little lighted tree my 12 year old daughter gave to me when my life was falling apart and I can hold her sweet gesture in my heart each year as I look at that tree. The Santa Claus with barking dog my sweet Jonathan David gave to me and the special kindergarten one he made. There is the first Christmas precious moments ornament John and I bought 17 years ago the year we were married. The many dragonflies Sue has given us and on and on. We cherish these items, like we cherish the people who gifted them to us. Most of all let me say I cherish Christmas itself. The humble gift of love. The babe who says to us all "Life is good...death is better". I do not forget amid the hustle and bustle what Christmas means to me. A life of sadness and joy is packed away in those 10 or 12 big boxes and each item I see is another reminder that God loves me and has gifted me with wonderful family and friends. The sadness, oh yes it is part of life, but Christmas is here to shine a light on the gladness. So to my many friends and loved ones - Merry Christmas and most importantly may you experience this Christmas some genuine "Peace on Earth".

forever true

2010-11-30T08:21:00.003-06:00

People can disapoint you. I was shocked to hear racist, bigoted comments from certain artists at the show this year. I just kind of thought artist had innate compassion and intuition. Well guess what Peggy, they don't. They are just people like me with flaws and prejudices. I grew up in a home where respect was expected. We were taught to see all races as valuable and to give highest regard to those who have been given the least respect. My dad was one of the few of his friends in the tumultuous riot ridden 60s, that would not tolerate racism. He would not stand for bigotry and he had the courage to speak out to his friends. I am cut to the core when I hear someone put down an entire race of people. I love football, but can not stomach the Washington racist team. Is there any wonder we have wars constantly, when people in our small community still hold racist ideas about Indian people. When within the walls of a simple art show, we have those who are way more interested in me then we. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. That is my prayer today and the only way to sooth my disapointed heart is to look to the one who is forever true and see the light that shines in the darkness. How about a little "Walk a mile in my moccasin before you judge me" ?

how little we know

2010-11-20T08:36:00.002-06:00

I am reading a wonderful book right now and it is opening my eyes to realize how little I know. Because we all know so little it is best to keep our opinions out of the way of love. I for one am so so guilty of nursing my intellectual judgements. I am working my way toward being an elder and in some cultures I would be considered one, but to arrive there I must let go. Letting go is not easy because it means facing my absolute grip on control. I am a child of the 60s, the freedom and radical thinking generation. I want to stand up for justice and take down all the oppressors of culture and human dignity. Guess what, flower child, you can't. And can't is certainly not a part of my vocabulary. Didn't can't @#%$ his pants. Oh well letting go is saying I don't know and I can't. I am learning the best way to take down oppressors is to put myself down. Love is not self righteous. Love does not claim to be the guru. Love serves. Love forgives. Love lets go. Love leaves room for error. Love is ok with not understanding. Love is sacrifice. Love is knowing very little. Love is caring. Love is not self seeking. Love is a journey. Love is listening. Love is way more than I can begin to know so I pray that I can begin to know love.

memories

2010-11-16T08:15:00.002-06:00

I was looking over some facebook pics a young friend sent to me of her and her handsome young beau and suddenly I was struck with powerful memories. I wanted to write her back and say hold tight to these moments, cherish them, guard them from adult doubt and skepticism. For a moment I remembered frolicking in the leaves and seeing the huge world and loving the possibilities. Before the death of my dear ones, the scars of divorce, the pain of knowlege and constant reminders of mortality. I remembered driving from San Diego to Michigan with two strangers from college, with carefree laughter and unmeasurable possibilities. I remember sledding down the cold snow covered hills without a chill in my bones. Sleeping until noon and staying up half the night because I couldn't leave the fun. Memories pour through my dissalutioned tears. Life is too short and life is too painful. That is the truth, but please if you are young or young at heart, just disregard those words. Soak up your moment...........live free and unguarded. Believe, hope and love as you skip thru your days. Don't let worry seep into your world for soon it will come crashing in like a hurricane. Now is your time and it will never return. So fall deeply in love, climb the highest mountain you want and stay up as many nights as you can for tomorrow comes quickly. You will stand next to the bed of the one you love as they slip away, a flight of stairs will be a breathless challenge and 10:00pm will be a late night for you. But life is sweet from start to finish if you will embrace the moments. Live and love to live!

connected

2010-11-13T10:30:00.002-06:00

Being on the road in Mississippi with musician/teacher John Two-Hawks and artist Joseph Chamberlain is full of great conversation. We laugh and talk, we talk about philosophy and history. We often spend time just making fun of ourselves. You would think I would be thrilled on the road, surrounded by new places, faces and experiences. Believe me I am not complaining but just sharing truth. I just like being home. I love waking up to my morning friends..coffee..birds and a crossword puzzle. My comfort zone. I remember never wanting to go to school, kindergarten was like the monster under the bed. Father Bob used to tell me I needed to get out and stay out of my comfort zone. I guess he knew me pretty well. We don't change much in this life. We are connected to our beginning no matter how long we travel the path. Our ancestors, our teachers, our fears and our familiar spirits hang around. If we had positive role models, loving parents, encouraging teachers then we are blessed. But most folks don't have such luck. Most folks have their monsters in the closet or under the bed. I for one had my share of luck or blessings but still I have to shake off that "I don't want to go out into the big scary world" and tell myself " maybe there is an ice cream cone waiting out there somewhere."
I am truly thankful for the wonderful friends and family I have. I am so thankful for my connection to them, for the beautiful earth and for miles traveled.... but mostly I am thankful for a new morning with no where to go, a hot cup of coffee, some birds outside my window and a very easy crossword puzzle to work on.

passion

2010-11-08T08:22:00.002-06:00

Maybe it is the time change, or perhaps the constant longer and longer lists of things to do, but today I feel kind of flat. So, I will let my wonderful memory bring back some passion. This is it, "Creek Mary's Blood" A song of truth and of great power. A heart song and a song with a universal cry for justice. And along with the memory of the music, I see, Tuomas, committed and connected to his powerful gift. I see John Two-Hawks, bringing a message of power and peace to the world. So I call up all the passion my weary heart can house this morning and am thankful for the wonderful gift of music of memory and of friendship. How is it a man from Finland can capture the essence of 'The trail of tears', when here in America it is a fleeting distant minor history lesson? Passion, that is the answer. We have become a country consumed with Economics and Politics and have lost our passion for life. We have become a people more interested in tickling emotions than solid truth. We just want it all to feel good, look good and not interfere with our "plastic ceremonies". Passion is deep and it is grown in struggle and in uncomfortable living. So maybe I need to toss my list to the wind, throw my clock out the window and dance to some "Nightwish" truth music or meditate on some Two-Hawks soul music, either way I shall get out of my comfort zone... my western medicated "me" illusion and step into the unknown and unpredictable hard cold, but alive, truth. Passion, don't leave home without it!

why I love Spiderman?

2010-11-06T09:23:00.003-05:00

This little guy is my hero! He is honest, cute, funny, smart and the apple of my eye. This is why I love Spiderman!

loving life

2010-11-04T09:28:00.002-05:00

There are certain things I love about life. Morning coffee and crisp fall air. I love to watch the piliated woodpeckers come to my window feeder, hang upside down and eat to there hearts content. And I love the beautiful sound of the Cedar flute. American Indian culture and Pendleton blankets rank highly in what I love about life. I am pretty much crazy about good writing and great music. An inspired piece of art will bring me to tears. There is nothing better than a good laugh that takes your breath away. I often wonder why as a society we concentrate on the negative, the hurtful and the sadness. There certainly is plenty of that to go around. But I will ask you the same question I asked the boys I work with this week. What makes you happy? Think about these things. Did you know that in your brain the grateful center and the fear center are in the same area. So if you are feeling grateful, you cannot be feeling fearful. So, how about a big does of Thanksgiving! Let your feast this year be more than turkey and dressing, let it be a feast of spirit and love. Make a list each day and if you have a loved one in that list let them know you are thankful to them..... oh and by the way, thank you for reading my blog, you are all incredibly beautiful people. Think I will add you to my list!!

simplicity

2010-10-30T09:00:00.002-05:00

Many years ago while passing thru Sedona we stopped in Flagstaff for lunch. I walked past a gallery there and my heart and soul dragged my body into a little shop. Thus, a new relationship started. Louis Buchetto entered my life there. Though we have only seen each other a few times his art lives on in my life and in my kitchen and in a number of my friends and family's homes. His message too lives on... Simplicity. My life is very complicated, I have many opinions and a huge network of family and friends. Those who know me, know I am constantly working on a new project. My taste in music ranges from Nightwish to Gordon Lightfoot with a myriad of artists in between. Visual art is the same for me, my taste runs the gamut. I have attention deficit disorder but I like to refer to it as mega vision order. I have a need to see it all. I quickly glean many wonders in nature, in art, music and philosophy, so my mind skips around a lot. My office is not tidy, not because I am lazy or disorganized but because the minute I begin to sort thru papers, one will catch my attention and I will set off in a new direction with a new quest. My thoughts are kind of 'catch me if you can'. But I am ok with me. Simplicity is always a comfort to me. A short explanation, a profound wisdom in 7 words or less, an uncomplicated theme and a straight forward relationship minus the drama. Prayer and Spirit are the same. I speak my need in faith and simply expect. All the bells and whistles just kind of confuse me.
Simplicity, what a wonderful quest for a part time collector of everything interesting. Simplicity, what a gift to a complex part-time chaos sculpture. Thank you to all you KISS advocates, (keep it simple stupid), I appreciate you!

Beauty

2010-10-29T09:55:00.002-05:00

With the Arts Eureka Fall Art Show only a few weeks away, I have had art and beauty on my mind. Several years ago, I had a dream. Seamus, Sir Charles and JTH bringing music simply for the pure purpose of creating beauty from the inside out. As most of my dreams go, I am a 'sky's the limit' girl. I found the image by Cynthia De' Robbins at the Art Show and decided this spoke of my vision of beauty. Serene, placid, lightness within darkness and looking upward to the source of beauty. Great! We worked out the art arrangement. Now the music! My three "Mystical Warriors" began to create incredible music. Since Seamus was only here for a short time from Ireland, we knew it would take awhile. We did the incredible photo shoot and planned for an awesome tour of the music. A dream was in the making. All was on track. Then suddenly the current went wild and the tide rose. My sweet Sir Charles Hammer, my friend, confidant, troubadour, trickster, master hugger got very ill and died. How can life be so cruel? I was crushed... not the first time and certainly not the last. Through it all we managed to finish our project. Not as the combined "Warriors" but with compositions from each person. It was not what I dreamed, but it was still "Beauty Music". And if life seems to be raging against you now, it may not be what you dreamed, but remember it is still beautiful. Sir Charles, you have added so much to the beauty in my life....Thank You!

Hands

2010-10-27T09:10:00.002-05:00

We were challenged this weekend to look at our hands. I began to think about what miraculous tools God has given us. With hands music is created, babies are brought into the world and gardens are planted. With hands we are able to take love and deliver it to a needy soul. Also with hands we are able to take up a gun in war, abuse a spouse, pick up a bottle of booze. With hands we are able to take destruction into the world.
Disease is passed by hands and cured with hands. What a picture of free will and personal choice. I have used my hands to heal and to harm. As my hands grow older, they do much more healing and much less harming. That is the beauty of aging. Bring on wrinkles and age spots if it means that I will reach out with hands of understanding and forgiveness. I've never had manicured hands soft and silky. Mine have been hands in the kitchen. Burned and scared many times. Those burns are my most precious legacy. Too bad we are not born with wisdom. We have to live a life time to gain some. Hands reveal our story. From the first hand we touch to the last, life is about giving and receiving. Hands to build or to destroy, we decide.

Another door, another layer

2010-10-26T08:37:00.002-05:00

After just coming off a retreat weekend I have the feeling that I have stepped thru another door. Of course there are many behind me and many ahead of me, but today I stand in this place. At this moment of great successes and great failures of laughter and tears, I find myself alone. And although I know I am never truly alone I am embracing this feeling of autonomy. I have many choices, however they are mine alone to make. I may choose to forgive or to hold tight to my blessed resentments. I may choose to let you in or wisely keep you out. Love is not for the timid. Love is not for the selfish. Love will tear you up, it is the lions den. But without it you are not fully alive, so choose. I may even choose not to choose as I sip my morning coffee and contemplate a day of television and fructose sugar... it is up to me and I am so grateful for that!

Irish dreams again

2010-10-18T11:49:00.002-05:00

Today, I miss Ireland. I would like to just leave all these papers on my desk, my to do lists, my disappointments and ignorant expectations and just fly away. I don't even need to pack a bag because I know a St. Vincent DePaul shop in Wicklow Town that would take care of my wardrobe needs. Perhaps I would not even leave a forwarding address, just become a part of the land a misguided three leaf clover. Since I feel like Ireland must be the closest place to heaven I could just make a hop skip and a jump and be in my forever home. But meanwhile, to have my feet on Irish soil and to look into the eyes of Irish hearts, that is my fantasy get away today. To walk away from this computer and my cell phone and to wake up to brown bread and jam with a hot cup of coffee every morning. Maybe I could even write my thoughts on a piece of paper, and talk to a friend face to face.....oh that would be glory.

Wonderful

2010-10-13T10:48:00.002-05:00

I had many things to do today... A huge to do list. I had to cast them all aside because there is something way more important than me or the things I think I must do. Today 33 men will be rescued, returned to there love ones. They will be truly born again. As I watched the oldest and wisest man drop to his knees, I was immediately transformed into the arms of a loving and gracious Creator God. For all the war and hatred and darkness in the world, here was piercing light! I so wished I could do something, so in thanksgiving I created 34 prayer ties to hang at the Medicine Wheel Garden. One tie for each life and one for the giver of life. I will go and hang them and pray when I am done writing this blog. I know that each of us lives in some way in that seemingly hopeless darkness, but all around us are angels we do not see and a meriad of helpers and supporters wanting to lift us into the light. We just must wait, pray, trust and humbly be lifted. Today, people all across the globe have formed a Circle of Nations Global Community, rejoicing in the miracles we are seeing in Chile. Today we are all brothers and sisters, life is as it should be, this is peace, this is faith, this is possible! Love!!

drops of dew

2010-10-09T16:27:00.002-05:00

We are all just drops of dew before the morning sun
we are simply nurturing spirits looking for a little fun
I am not better, nor wiser or more important than you
I am simply a tiny water droplet, a refreshing drop of dew
and together we water and comfort the dry and thirsty earth
giving our gifts and dreams in hopes of loves rebirth
And as the warmth of noon day and sun gives off its sweet light
then slowly we each give up our flesh and return to the silent night
next day the others take our place and feed the new born blades
and soon the time of their lives like ours will simply fade
good by to war and hatred, good by to ego too
hello to little water drops and hope of morning dew!

Inspired

2010-10-08T08:51:00.002-05:00

When I woke up this morning I read the Circle of Nations newsletter and was very inspired by John Two-Hawks words. I began to consider the concept of strength. I've never had much muscle. I don't recall ever winning an arm wrestling match. Quite honestly I am really quite a wimp. So I began to contemplate what is true strength and in what ways am I strong. Have I faced true adversity. Maybe a little? I look at people like Nancy Cooper Maier and Jean Seifried who courageously face cancer and who bring music, art and beauty to the world in the midst of their own struggle. I look at someone like JTH who sufferered his entire childhood in an abusive and neglectful home and wakes up each day with an attitude of gratitude. And then there is me, wimpy ole me, who cries at a bee sting. I suppose my strength is my vision and my belief. My strength is my faith. And I suppose these strengths were born out of a lot of disappointment. I am thankful for those seeds of disappointment. In our lack is our true abundance. In our doubt is our true faith and in our fear is the hope of overcoming. A little flower may be a strong as a mighty oak, it just depends on what you need. We all have inner strength to give to ourselves and to a world who mistakes might and power for strength.

signs

2010-10-07T11:18:00.002-05:00

The sky in the picture just reminds me of life, of my life. Rich with texture, clouded in mystery and surrounded by darkness that is penetrated with light. I know that many people feel a sence of anxiety now a days. We are surrounded on all sides by fearful media and the internet can be an onslaught of misinformation. Young people are vulnerable to the hateful messages online. I feel so bad for them because they don't have the experience to know that light is forever stronger than darkness. I wish each young person could see the beauty of who they are and the possibility of a fulfilling life. It is with spirit eyes that we see past the dark clouds into the light. And unfortunately our society is becoming a society of eyes wide shut. I have wondered what the fascination is with haters, people bent on spreading negativity. Why so much attention is given to them. Perhaps it has just become a familiar spirit to us, a morbid past time. Maybe it takes too much effort to concentrate on the light. But our young people need some lightness, some laughter, hugs, affirmations, some unconditional love. They are living in a world most of us older folks didn't have to live in, shattered homes and shattered dreams. They need and we need to know that prayer, faith, hope, love can repair shattered dreams. Light will always conquer darkness!

Instant Karma

2010-10-04T08:30:00.002-05:00

Instant Karma gonna get you!! Nothing instant about true Spirituality! It is ancient like the earth, the wind, the fire, and the water. It is slow and self effacing. Ever notice everyone is a healer and a "shaman" now a days? You can get your "Shaman's" license online for free, just click www.freeshamanslicense.com Hey that spirituality is as good for your spirit as a big mac and fries is for your body. Lesson one, if someone tells you they are a "shaman", then they are not. Lesson two, if someone tells you they are a healer, then they are not. Lesson three, if a ceremony costs $$ then it is not one. These are three simple lessons and I offer them to you free of charge. You can thank me later. True spirituality is self bought and self taught. The price is more than anyone would want to pay. It comes with sacrifice and suffering. It is paid for with tears and rejection. It is not some pie in the sky feeling like getting high. Use drugs if you want that feeling. True spirituality is born of humility and is silent and does not announce itself. True spiritual leaders live a life of love and they don't have to tell you that, because they will show you that. Follow love, follow practical wisdom, don't follow self proclaimed "shamans". Breathe and wait! It may take 7 or 70 years to have a vision. One true vision is worth 1,000 fake wanna be visions. Oh by the way "shaman" is not a word any American Indian person would use to describe a healer or medicine person (threw that one in for free). You have the eyes and ears to see and hear beauty. Follow your own path and listen to your own spirit. Instant karma not gonna get cha!

Birthday continued

2010-10-01T08:57:00.002-05:00

Ok today is the first day of my 5 and 1/2 decades plus 1 year and 1 day. So what have I learned!
Moms rescue
sisters punch
sisters teach
sisters care
brothers make you laugh
dads are fun
most people are nice
some people are not
cake is good
cookies are awesome
sometimes those we love leave us
forever
truth is hard to come by, working hard has rewards, being honest feels good, forgiving is healthy, taking a moment is crucial, Christmas is magic, people will let you down, people will build you up, life is wonderful, life is tragic, gratitude cures fear, Disney World is incredible!, music is essential, art is life, rain on your face feels pure, God is love, love is good, books are food for the soul, prayer is food for the spirit, grandchildren are Gods bouquet to grandmas, children are a burden of joy, soul mates are real, no one makes a peanut butter and jelly like mom, the earth speaks, purpose comes from we not me, life is a mystery! Most important wisdom Have FUN!!

Happy Birthday

2010-09-30T09:26:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to ME!
Wow! I woke up to the most wonderful birthday wishes. I may look like hell, swollen red nose, crusted over eyelids, pale, you get the picture (poor me) but my spirit is soaring... you know this whole thing is so little about the flesh and our wearing away bodies. Our spirits grow and grow and so does joy and purpose. it makes it a pure pleasure to grow a year older. To be an Elder is quite an honor and I embrace the awe of life! You all are the candles on my cake...xoxoxoxxoxo love ya tons!!
ok on with my blog
I have had many desserts in my life ( I should say too many)... but that is beside the point. I will save that lecture for my BE HEALTHY blog, which as you all know has yet to be written. But nothing is impossible. No today is about Rainbow Cake, which translates to living life to the fullest! Color, sweetness, friendship,sharing, celebrating. I hold these truth in my heart and translate them to the presents of a loving God!
These wonderful moments are not in any way tied to our present state of being. I for one feel like a piece of cow dung right now (physically) but in my soul and spirit I am soaring with the eagles. I will probably not enjoy a birthday cake today, however the memory of this wonderful rainbow cake will do the trick and save me a few calories at the same time..oh but that is another blog. No one can accuse me of living timid or frugile. I have spent these years saying yes to just about everything ( which is not always wise) but that is the way I roll. I make no apologies for the fact that I have stumbled plenty. I could have played it safe and stayed on my feet, but I may not have experienced all the colors of the rainbow or all the sweetness of a stolen kiss or the tears of deep understanding or the laughter that takes your breath away. It is my birthday and I don't feel like my life is slipping away I feel like I have lived and lived fully. So come what may, it is ok! How old am I? old enough to know better but young enough to not care!

hope

2010-09-17T08:54:00.002-05:00

When I was a little girl, I really believed that when I would blow the wings off the dandelion that each wing would carry my prayers. As an adult...I still believe that. Each wing is a prayer to God to intervene in the life of those who need love and encouragement and especially hope.
Every week I get the honor of working with 20 young hurting souls. I get to make them cookies and try to make them laugh. I know that their needs are way bigger than what I can give. So I keep these little wings in my heart and blow them up to the Creator and ask for mighty help and mighty love that can give these boys what they have never gotten in their homes or in their families or in their community. There is a world of hurt out there in need of a lot of prayer and a lot of sacrifice and a whole lot of love. I have been blessed with loving parents and a whole community of support. I have been blessed to be taught from childhood that someone out there beyond this small finite world really cares and that I can send a small childs prayer or a big adult burden and expect that help is on its way. If we can tune into love instead of political correctness and religious separation I think we could actually make a difference in this world. After all there are plenty of angels wings just waiting to lift our prayers!

early mourn

2010-09-16T04:32:00.002-05:00

ok what do you write about at 4:30 in the morning after spending the last two hours trying to go back to sleep? My mind is moving from sparklers to fire crackers. No sense trying to understand it. It has to do with PMS or OCD or pre or post or hot flast right now! Now my dear friends don't worry about me. I have several hours of sleep saved up in my sleep bank, and I never am much of a saver. I am a spender and I spend it all. Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. Always my motto. I learned this unfortunately from too many experiences with death. And so here I am at my subject. This beautiful pic is one of the last taken by Father Bob. Just a day or two before he passed over to his heavenly home. Also in those last few pictures was one of me holding my sweet little grandson Jonathan Daniel. I have needed a good cry for awhile and I feel one coming. Father Bob was a bridge over troubled waters for me. He is the one who told me "go for it" time and time again. He is the one who delighted when I walked into the room. He is the one who knew how to live beyond his means because he was a dreamer and his means were beyond him. He believed in my writing and he not only said so, but bought me my first word processor and fronted me the money for my first book, which I never was able to pay back to him. He was a quiet and humble man... kind of stubborn and could be withdrawn. I miss him, although I know he is very close. He knows now that it is good to cry..... and believe me the more you love, the more you will cry. Thanks Father Bob for the laughter and the tears.

Housekeeper please!

2010-09-15T10:59:00.002-05:00

As I pick up my messy house, I am grateful for the activity that leaves my house in disaray
Meals shared...love given...card games played..friends..grandson..family
miriads of people to love and care for
music to create, art to appreciate
House gets messy. Now I would be most grateful for a housekeeper!

New Badlander

2010-09-14T15:20:00.002-05:00

Soon we will be introducing our new bass guitar player! But I thought I would give you all my dear friends a chance to get aquainted with Adrian Adams aka the third badlander. The Badlanders are made up of three of the most incredible musicians... they are all bad to the bone! musically, however you could never meet three nicer guys. Maybe that is why the music is so transcendental because these three souls are as real and true as you can get. We now are on the fourth song and each one keeps getting better than the last. Music is my life and I enjoy nothing more than producing excellent music!
So stay tuned!

Rest

2010-09-11T08:53:00.002-05:00

Everything in nature is telling me that my sweet wonderful summer is leaving me behind. I look at the leaves and the greeen in the pool in my backyard and I have to tell myself, no more floating this year Peggy. Boo hoo...ok I am over that. So, I must find another way to REST. I am so bad at resting but am determined to get better. Rest is a totally cool thing. My mind knows this but my compulsive self says go...go..go girl. Hurry up, there is no time like the present to do...do...do. Soooo, I am determined to slow down and rest, later! See ya, got places to go and people to see!

New rant

2010-09-05T09:44:00.002-05:00

I feel a new rant about to surface. I have tried to hold it back with a cup of coffee and sweet roll and the beauty of the morning. But then I made my mistake I started to read the paper. The editorial page...bad medicine. Some guy complaining about trying to save wolves and bears, seem he doesn't like them. They spoil his pleasant walk in the woods. Hey dude get over it! For 40 years and especially for the last 20 Environmentalist and people with brains have been telling us to cut down on consumption and start conscious living. Now people are sweating, being flooded out and facing the furry of Mother Nature. So what is the editorial page answer? Lets build more, buy more and consume more... I mean it means more jobs! Help! No planet? More jobs? Let me think.... I prefer human beings remaining on the planet. I have an idea....how about more jobs nurturning Mother Earth...creating peace and products that are sustainable. Hey how about food that doesn't poison the earth and us. Maybe we could create jobs for construction instead of destruction. I am not Mother Theresa of the planet, I have a long way to go...but at least I realized that Drill baby drill was a bad idea 4 years ago and still know it today. Hey I hear the ice caps melting is effecting Alaska now, houses are sinking. Maybe Ms. Palins will float across her yard into Russia...if it did she would still shout drill baby drill. She just likes the sound of it and since shes heading straight to heaven I guess she doesn't care if the rest of us end up in %$#&! Hey turn off some lights today..do some recycling..praying...walking...thinking and loving. Intention and action just might save our planet!

Happy Anniversary

2010-09-04T08:43:00.002-05:00

John and I have been married 17 years today.
It seems like yesterday when we said I do. In the middle of passion, conflict, and incredible doubt and unknowing. It was pure follow your heart ( such a dangerous option, or so we are told). With our life experiences, ages, families and personalities the skeptics would have to say our chances were not good, our marriage was doomed to fail. But we had this one thing, this one stubborn strand that bound us together, love. It seems like yesterday that we took off on our honeymoon. It seems we've never returned from that trip and it is unlikely that we ever will. So as we head into the 18th year of our honeymoon, I just wanted to say... I am the luckiest girl alive.

Perfection

2010-09-03T08:24:00.002-05:00

I really do hate pictures of me... my true friends don't hold a camera to my face. I have never liked pictures. But why. Pictures lie. They show the flesh...the finite...the superficial. Now some people know how to capture more in a picture, these people are artist. I remember the experience of riding around in the choo choo with my grandson and if pictures told the truth, my smile would be bigger than the train. My spirit would be leaping off the page, because I was having the time of my life. Perfection! I was doing the one thing I enjoy most in life, sharing a
magic moments with someone I love deeply. Never mind I hadn't combed my hair or put on makeup or lost those 50 lbs... I will lose them either before I die or when I die. One way or another they are going away. But I believe the things you don't see in this picture will live on. So I really don't like pictures of myself much... but I sure am happy to have this one because of the wonder in my grandson's eyes and the delight felt in my spirit. This is perfection Ms Lohan, Ms Hilton, Ms. Spears and all you others searching for meaning in a bottle of something. Try real love... oh and on your way eat a sandwich ( just to make me feel better). Perfection comes in little packages and I don't mean diamonds. Perfection comes in moments and those moments don't hang around long.. perfection.... don't miss it!

Hello???

2010-08-30T09:33:00.002-05:00

I noticed lately my blogs have been a little wimpy. I mean not that I don't totally espouse peace, love and hippie beads...but... I do have another side.
Does anyone notice that the Planet is going to $%&*
in a hand basket. While some of the dumbest so called leaders vie for position. And I mean Dumb with a capital D. And that stands for Dame and you figure out who I am talking about. This political moron wouldn't know global warming if it melted the makeup right off of her phony face. Not nice Peggy, not nice. Sorry, I just realize how much of a minority I am. I mean, people actually listen to this crib-sheet-on-hand, inability to speak more than two syllable words, non educated prom queen! Hello? Embarrassed by "drill baby drill" yet? Oh, by no means are these politicians alone.... hey, people buy their books and their bull. They want teachers to have accountability to prove they have what it takes. I suggest we create a test for politicians: you don't run if you are dumber than a box or rocks (sorry rocks). And the number one question before you place your vote should be: What is your plan to save Mother Earth from greedy corporate banks and greasy oil moguls? Do you have a plan? Even an awareness? Its not too late, maybe while these idiots are jockeying for position you and I can make a change. Maybe while these political talking heads spend all their time getting rich and famous, we can affect a true change. One that we do and not just talk about. More caring about the planet and our neighbors, less me, me, me and more we. Conscious living and loving on the ground floor, because I don't expect much change on the top. Maybe we can return to true values of honor and hard work and intelligence. Maybe we don't need to worry about the majority of sheep who follow loud scare tactics and religious fanaticism. Maybe we can wear away this mighty cloud of ignorance with small drops of rain. Frankly, if I never see another political commercial tearing down the other side, I won't miss it. Where is integrity? Where is leadership? It is time to wake up and smell the coffee, it is up to us, no one else...to care for Mother Earth. The time is now, the leader is you!

spirit helpers

2010-08-29T17:26:00.002-05:00

I am aware of a myriad of unseen helpers around us all the time. I don't really see them.... I feel them...I know them, and mostly I appreciate them. You may call them angels, you may call them guides, you may call them spirit helpers. I don't think it matters much what you call them, although wars have been fought over such semantics. I spent some time down at our Medicine Garden today. It is a powerful place for prayer and for renewal. I am grateful for the connection I feel there to the earth, to God, to all things that surround me. I realize that I am but a breath away from a world that awaits me. The world of my father, my grandparents, some of my dearest friends. It is the real world. As I pray in my own way, I touch that world and it touches me. When I walk away from that place of prayer I am grounded. You may pray in a building, a cathedral or a monastery...it matters not where you pray but that you pray. Life without this spiritual connection is foreign to me. My hope and my faith is in that unseen world. I don't need to have all the answers, I know what love is and I know what the touch of love is and in those moments of surrender I feel the most secure. I am praying for rain, it will rain and if it doesn't then I will pray for more faith. Life is not easily tied in a bow... it is full of loose ends. When I was a child we sang a song in church "God is love and he who abides in Love abides in God and God in him" The to do list for peace and faith is short and easy...Love!

Irish dreams

2010-08-28T12:04:00.002-05:00

I just can't seem to quit dreaming about Ireland. I just can't seem to get enough Irish spirit ( and I don't mean Guinness, although actually that too)
I found myself online googling today airline prices for 2011. No offence to Walmart, mom, but how I describe Ireland is...pre Walmart...pre fast food...pre run for your life.
I was born in the 50s, I remember the local grocery store where we had a tab and the bakery next door which contributed to my abundantly happy fat cells. Small town people, small town times. Not crazy like today. We could actually go out and play for hours. We made up games and rode our bikes and didn't think of every person we met as a stranger. I had not experienced that feeling of safety in over 40 years. I felt it in Ireland. The small towns, the comforting spirit, slowness, coolness, kindness. Wow! I am so happy I was born before i-pods, cell phones and home computers. No offence to price cutting smiles, but before Walmart. I remember cherry phosphates at the drug store and free birthday meals from McDonalds. Before the progress, this easy, microwave time we live in, easy ...is getting harder every day! Don't change Ireland please, I'll be back soon.

Perception

2010-08-26T08:03:00.002-05:00

Yesterday mom and I had a girls day out. We started at the car wash. This was the place for the seed of this blog. Surely many of you have had the experience of sitting in a car while it is being washed and you feel that you are moving, when in reality you are standing still...or are you? I mean you absolutely feel that you are moving. Basically it is the machine around you moving. So this got me to thinking. We all base our perception on what has happened or is happening around us. From our past, our families, our failures, successes and just general environmental happenings. We see what we have come to believe as reality. And since we all have different experiences we doubt each others realities. How about doubting our own reality. Our perception is based on trivial things. Like a bad grade we achieved in school or a teasing a mean spirited child laid upon us... or maybe not small events but dark abuse and neglect. Be aware your reality is tainted and it is certainly not fair to expect others to see things the way you do. Look inside for your perception, to the place of creative breath, to the place that is your center and to a place where peace and love reigns. Everything outside your soul and spirit is moving and changing and only truth and love is steadfast. You do not know what is real and what is just an illusion so be kind to yourself and to others. Try not to judge your neighbor until you have walked a mile in their moccasins. Life is a mystery, God is a mystery, love is a mystery. Enjoy the not knowing. Maybe your moving, maybe your not?

moments

2010-08-24T17:49:00.002-05:00

Last summer or was it the summer before. I don't recall the day. I do recall the 45 to 60 min. Nancy, John and I stayed transfixed at the window, watching mommy raccoon with little Rocky and ReAnna Racoon. I figure Rocky was the boy, he was tumbling around falling off the rocks in to the water while, ReAnna was going after raccoon kisses. Well whatever, maybe that is too totally unpolitically correct and stereotypical...don't care. I am sure that when I think back on my life this one afternoon of friends enjoying natures playful moment will be remembered. Actually, I have no recollection of that day...just the magic of watching this raccoon family enjoy our little pond. Nancy has passed over to the other side and I miss her, so it is great to remember having this moment with her. She loved God's creatures and she had no problem taking time out to just be. She knew what was important and she showed me that, in her songs, in her poems and in her life. I wish I could be more like Nancy. Maybe I can.

Football

2010-08-22T13:41:00.002-05:00

I love Football. I always have. So this is about my favorite time of year right before the season starts. I've asked myself why I love football and is the love of the sport somehow passed thru the DNA? This is my grandson Dominick at the Lucas Oil Stadium. He also loves football especially the Colts and Payton Manning. I grew up as a kid watching grade school, highschool, college ( go Notre Dame) and professional ball games. I don't even really understand the game all that much, I just love to watch. I guess we all just carry our childhood with us and the best part of mine was a cool November day on the sidelines with a hot chocolate in one hand and my dads hand in the other. It is amazing as I recall this memory a tear runs down my cheek. I sure wish dad could have seen more games but he died of a heart attack when he was only 42. I guess I am rooting for him Go Bears. Hope you don't mind dad I'd like to see the Colts and the Cowboys go to the Super Bowl this year. As the world gets crazier and crazier, some things kind of stay the same. A Sunday afternoon game is one of those things. Football Forever!!

special places

2010-08-21T11:06:00.002-05:00

John and I have done a lot of traveling...we have been to the sacred places...the cities...the opera houses and concert halls. Then there are special places like the hundreds of places we saw between sacred spaces in Ireland. These are the places that feel warm and cozy, like a soft hug. These are the places we photograph so we can remember the feeling. They do not take our breath away but give us a soothing sense of fresh air. Life is made up mostly of these. Small joys, small pains. We really wake up to the big owies and big wowies, but if we are already awake we will be aware of the myriad of special moments that fill our lives. I don't understand boredom, I don't understand depression. Not that I am not sympathetic to that disease, but I just don't get it. When there is so much to do and so much to give and so much to experience, how can anyone ever be bored? There is joy all around us and it starts by us giving joy to others (not looking for it ourselves). Once we start the circle of giving it just comes back around. It is pretty simple... feel left out? Ask yourself how much am I leaving others out? Feel unloved? Ask yourself how much am I loving others? Feel empty? Ask yourself how much am I filling others up? It seems simple to me. There is a whole world of opportunity to give and to experience the small, special moments and places outside our door, but you must get outside yourself to find them. You may think, "that's easy for you to say". No, it is not easy, it is a choice. Life is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Sharing is a choice. Life is not all that easy and it is not meant to be. You choose!

balance

2010-08-16T07:47:00.002-05:00

My life is a gift! A marvelous mystery! I am grateful for every moment that I have had to spend here in this beauty garden, so full of thorns and storms. I am grateful for the people who represent to me a gallery of perfect creations that I am so blessed to visit and touch and learn from. The cool morning is here in the midst of the hottest summer any one remembers. I am blessed with a wonderfully long to do list, a warm cup of coffee and possibilities that stand at my door way and wait for me to notice them. Sadness is a breath away as well as joy. They both come to nourish me like the rain and the sun. I have had plenty of both in my life and so I stand aware that even standing is a gift. Fear is my only enemy, self doubt is my own created weapon I pull against myself. Today I shall face my fear and put my weapon away and accept the mystery of this day and wait for the promise which is love!

cool thoughts

2010-08-12T19:00:00.002-05:00

ok...I know we are all hot...so I send some cool thoughts. Snowball fights after school has been called off because of too much snow.
Penguins dancing.
Icy freeze when your throat is parched.
First fall high school football game, waiting in line for a hot chocolate to take the chill off.
Scrapping ice off car windows.
Thanksgiving at Grandmas house in Michigan.
Sledding. Snuggling up in front of a warm fire, watching big white snowflakes fall outside your window.
Sprinklers and Lake Michigan waves. Ireland in May by an open hearth fire. A brisk walk on a San Diego pier in Jan. Christmas cards from Ohio. Eating snowflakes and trying to warm up your nose with your mittens.... just a little medicine to balance the 105 degree days in Arkansas

nothing better

2010-08-04T09:52:00.002-05:00

When I was a little girl and people would ask me what do you want to be when you grow up, my first thought was always a mom! At one time I considered being a nun, but that would negate my first dream....so, and actually can you who know me picture me as a nun? Rules are not my forte.
To plagiarize a four year old I know; "I am too tired to keep the rule." Anyway, a mom I became. Tony, Angela and Jonathan...beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny, loving (do I need to say more or will I make you sick?) kids. Being a mom is not for the faint hearted (right Ang?). To do it right you have to have a ton of humor and courage. Not that I would know anything about doing it right. But through all the joys and sorrows I am forever grateful to be a mom and I couldn't have wanted for any more than my three burdens of joy. I heard some wisdom once from a seasoned mom. She said don't take responsibility for your children's successes or failures.
Just love, laugh and live with them. I couldn't be a prouder mom, there is nothing better!

Great Plains

2010-08-03T15:18:00.002-05:00

We are on the road again. This time in Michigan. Camped across from a lake on one side and a corn field on the other. We have a few days to just chill and that is what we are doing. These are precious moments for me. Spending time with my grandsons . John loves the Great Plains. He tries to get to South Dakota once a year... but that is not always possible. I know he carries the power of the Black Hills and the Badlands with him. It is in his soul and in his DNA and so he is never really separated from those open skies he loves. The earth is so diverse and beautiful that no matter where we find ourselves we can feel gratitude just from connecting to the Earth and Sky. When I was in Ireland I said to myself " their can be no more beautiful place on earth than this"..three weeks later driving through the Ozarks on 44... I thought...wow this is awesome, totally beautiful. So the beauty we see travels with us and in us..walk in beauty today

Flexing Muscles

2010-07-25T09:38:00.002-05:00

Most of us realize that mother nature and father sky are flexing there muscles right now. They are giving us fair warning that if we don't shape up they will kick our asses! Well maybe I should have said "butt" but I am taking poetic license. I for one don't want to tangle with Mother Nature. As humans we may have the allusion that we are tougher and smarter than most... just turn up the air conditioning. Just call FEMA (good luck). Get better insurance or just dig a whole on the sand and stick your head in it, of course now you may pull your head out covered in oil. But whatever we will find a way to wash the oil off....Really!! Wake up and smell the pollution... um lovely! For at least 50 years environmentalist have been shouting out to deaf ears and so now Mother Nature has taken up the call. Some people are actually listening now. Walk softly on the earth. Each one of us doing just a little may keep us out of the fight. Give your life a little purpose friends.. like maybe saving the planet. Recycling may not seem like Star Wars... but just pretend you are a Jedi fighter on your way to the Planet Recycle to save our planet from total annihilation. Turn off a light bulb. Walk instead of drive or ride a bike. Use Less Stuff.... it is not that difficult. Be smart and know that Mother Nature can and will kick our @#$%^# if we don't back off!!

goldilocks

2010-07-24T15:37:00.003-05:00

I loved Ireland..the people...the green...the spirit.
Wonderful and I will return to the Emerald Isle.
But one draw back, it was just too cold for me. I like the heat but to tell you the truth right now Arkansas is just to hot for me. I am looking for something "just right". While I am in Ireland I am dreaming of hot summer days at home and now I am at home thinking of cool Irish weather.
We humans are just crazy..... but in an ok way.
We always think something else is better or something is waiting for us around the bend. Not true. Hey Goldilocks this is it!

understanding

2010-07-19T08:51:00.004-05:00

This morning I received a prayer request for a 20 year old woman diagnosed with a rare cancer. As I read her story I was overwhelmed with questions. Seems she has already lost her baby, who was delivered early because of the tumor. Wow this life can be dark and scary. I know everyone asks the questions.......why the pain and loss in this life. I certainly don't have the answer. As I think about this young woman, she represents the loss that so many people experience on a daily basis. I will pray for her of course and hope for a miracle in her life. Because we never know tomorrow and we don't really understand yesterday, it is important to take time and care with people. Life is fragile and a small kindness can go along way. You never know when a smile, a prayer, an encouraging word will be the las tone someone experiences. I know that this world is a lovely and beautiful place... but not all the time and not for some. Walk softly today in gratitude and put as much light in the world as you can.... it is important

Mystery

2010-07-16T09:09:00.002-05:00

I am not one for surprises, I like to know what is happening. I hate waiting to open a gift, I have to see what is inside. Not a great trait. Hurry, hurry, hurry is my personality. Wait, wait, wait is wisdom. So you can see my dilemma. Fortunately the Great Mystery has patience and is willing to wait. These Dolmen's in Ireland, 5000 years old. Ok...so let me figure this one out?! Guess what... I can't and you can't, we have to accept Mystery. Faith is the substance of things not seen.
Substance is real. Mystery is real. God is real. Whatever power our great great great great great... you get the point..grandparents possessed, we don't have it today. We can barely wait for a traffic light. We want our food and our religion fast and with no hidden ingredients. We want to know and be known (I mean facebook is proof of that). No mystery, no unanswered question for us smart, evolved folks. Well in spite of all our technology and oil spills, they do go hand in hand you know, we still could use a book "mystery for dummys" .... so quick somebody write one and then we will all still be dummys with a new book. I actually find peace and comfort in not knowing how these fabulous Dolmens came to be...but that doesn't mean I am not gonna rip into a wrapped present when I get one........ "why" you ask..."It's a mystery to me", I reply.

creating a memory

2010-07-11T15:39:00.002-05:00

One morning while visiting Ireland I wanted to create a late morning snack. I wanted to use this very cool rocks table cloth and create a memory. I looked around at all the left overs we had in the kitchen and I pulled them all together to create a quite scruptious meal. I did this a few times with making some cakes also, that if I must say so myself were quite awesome. It is my art to take what I find around me and put it together to create a memory. This is how I feel about the music we create at Circle Studios Records and the healing retreats we offer. I take a little of this and a little of that and with intention and prayer and some faith watch what happens. I am usually very pleased and very surprised at the outcome. Life has always been that way for me, not too scientific, much more artistic and magical. So though it may seem like a small thing this little table of love prepared for those I love, it is just these simple pleasures that really count in life. I hope you have a whole bunch of them!

champion moments

2010-07-10T08:43:00.002-05:00

I went to Ireland and found my 'muchness'. It was not necessarily easy. I had to overcome many fears and doubts and misgivings to stand at this place and breathe in pure peace. I will probably drive you crazy with my Irish Blogs, but the country of sacred spaces and holy faces has captured my heart and I am not looking to escape too soon. Each of us has our awakenings and usually many throughout our lives and many throughout each day. This photo is reminiscent of one of mine. The yellow flowers dance in the field in constant praise and gratitude. The mighty ocean sings its strong gentle song.
The cloud studded painted sky brings promise and change. The boats that pass by in the distance, as well as the soaring seagulls, beckon me to a deeper faith and remind me that, like them, I am on a journey that matters.

all is well

2010-07-09T08:49:00.002-05:00

Ok folks... all is well in my world. Beautiful morning, coffee on the deck overlooking the amazing fog in the valley. My redtailed hawk friend came for a short visit while I ate peanut butter on cinnamon toast and bananas. It was quiet and beautiful and I made sure not to Think! Some times life just gets crazy and the laundry, bills, to do list, housework, responsibilties just pile up. Those are the little irritations that can break the thread we are hanging on to.
The real meaningful things that I wrote about in my blog the other day are real... children that need parents to be adults, oil spills, religious zealots and on and on. I make no apologies for my rant about those things. Those are the injustice fires within me that keep my sparkler going to try to make this world a better place. If my place, my personal space is not a quiet still burner, I won't have much affect on the rest. So today before my coffee my laundry got started and my dishes done... shucks no fun. But that is true power to find grace and peace in the little irritations and to put all of lifes work and play into balance. But please don't look at my desk ( if you can find it). I will save that mess for when I reach true enlightenment. I am trying to resist the temptation, but I think I am heading for a second cup of Joe. Love you All!! later

need coffee

2010-07-07T09:53:00.005-05:00

I have been thinking....MISTAKE!! and I have a few questions, bitches and bewilderments.
So for today my commitment to the positive blog is void. So warning stop here..bleep..bleep
warning
ok you had your chance.
First of all I do not understand how someone can choose drugs over children? How do you leave beautiful trusting souls who depend and admire you no matter what to getting high.... it is like choosing to eat dog shit instead of fillet mignon. What is up with that.. dope?
Second what is spiritual or loving about forcing people or expecting people to believe the way you do? To the point of killing innocent people with an airplane or damning people to hell because they don't see things your way? don't get it.
Third If there is so much damn oil running into the sea killing our environment and wildlife, why are we over in other countries at war trying to defend our oil interest? maybe I am just stupid..cause I just don't get these things.
Also for you folks that don't believe in global warming... turn off your air conditioners for a couple of days.... and have you noticed the rain and the flooding... I am not a scientist or anything but where does all that water from the snowcaps which are disappearing, melting... (too warm I suppose.. isn't that what melts things??) ...go? Just wondering as the creek rises.
ok there is more but I will spare you... cause I am hungry and haven't had my coffee yet... maybe that is the source of my negativity..... no Pollyanna closing..........life sucks

Magic

2010-06-30T08:49:00.002-05:00

This is the summer of rainbows. I have already seen three rainbows this year and had a piece of the most wonderful rainbow cake. I found an incredible pot of gold after I ate that cake... too bad it was attached to my hips. Is there anything more breathtaking and magical than a rainbow? Maybe a new born baby or a reunion with a long lost love... as, but not more. A rainbow is and always has been a sign from God of hope of renewal of our Creators steadfast committment to us. A rainbow only shows up after a storm. Our lives take root and our faith is tested thru the storms. Our character is built in the unknowing and in the doubt and fear of tempestuous experience. Rainbows show up after tears rain down. The more tears, the greater the magnficence of the colors in our hearts. Rainbows don't stay around for a long time, we can't hold them or control them. Like the moments of our lives we just have to take them in and learn the lessons and feel the love. I wish for you all many rainbows and the courage to buy a piece of rainbow cake and enjoy!

organized chaos

2010-06-29T12:33:00.002-05:00

I am back from the computer black hole. Our computer got sick and we have been nursing it back to health. Perhaps it is well now, or at least well enough I can begin to work and play with it again. I am amazed how difficult life is with a tired computer. I am thinking back just a few short life times ago....like back 20 years when I had no computer and did not even know how to turn one on. I still ate, I still played, worked and got along just fine. Now I am so connected to this thing we call a computer, this organized chaos.
Has it made my life better.... really. Maybe not, here I sit while the sun shines outside. I suppose it ranks up there with telephones and televisions, how do we live without them? I like my cooking shows and being able to talk to my grandkids on the phone. I like movies and connecting online with Circle of Nations members all over the world. So I suppose this technology is a good thing.....but the sunshine is beckoning me to head outside. I am glad my computer is back. I am also glad that I am still more in love with the natural world then the neon distractors that demand we sit... think I will go take a walk....see ya on the outside.

pool time

2010-06-19T09:05:00.004-05:00

It is hot here in Arkansas and they are saying it shall get hotter...hurrah!! I love the summer heat. When we moved into our house here 6 years ago my dream was to have an inground pool, but we opted for a $300 Walmart fill and float. I wanted a $50,000 dream pool and what I have, well, is not exactly that. But I love my pool. They said it would only last 3 years but we are in our sixth season and I was able to find relief from the summer heat in it yesterday. I am always so thankful for my little pool. I float and dream and relax in that space. The cardinals nest in a tree above me and sing me a sweet song. I can see my house as I lie there and have seen road runners, deer, redtailed hawks and many other wonderful birds and creatures. It is the one thing that can slow my sparkler mind down to a steady flow of water and thoughts. I love water in all forms (except maybe ice in the winter on the Arkansas windy roads) I love waterfalls, lakes, stream, oceans. When I was a kid and we would have a steady hard rain. The streets in our neighborhood would be full of water. Suddenly, I had my own swimming pool. I would spend all day swimming down the street. On days with no rain, there was the sprinkler
( this was pre slip and slide) The sprinkler was great! The city pool was great and going to Lake Michigan was heaven! I do love the summer heat but only if it is accompanied with water. I am so appreciative for those puddles that were my first resort experience because now a small $300 pool is pure luxury. Enjoy whatever it is that floats your boat!

Beautiful memory

2010-06-18T08:16:00.003-05:00

Sometimes John and I would go to Nancy's house to record. Three years ago we went to record some children singing to add to Nancy's new childrens CD "Every Little Thing" Nancy's house was full of bright colors, dogs barking, music, art and her incredible creative spirit. Sometimes I would leave Nancy's place and go home and write the most amazing poetry. Nancy fought cancer for 7 years and during that time she lived more than most people live in 70 years. She painted, wrote, sang, led a choir, laughed and grew. She is my friend and my inspiration. We wanted to plan a release party for her new Childrens CD, but somehow that just didn't happen. But now it is going to happen. I will miss her sweet smiling face and the way her whole body moved as she directed the choir. If everyone had 1 ounce of Nancy's goodness then the world would be healed.
If you don't have Nancy's music then you are totally missing out. Her childrens CD is soulful and uplifting. Her first CD "love again" is just pure light. Come to the Concert tomorrow night at 7:00pm at the First United Presbyterian Church in Fayetteville AR. John will be performing along with several others and Nancy's choir. I will be the MC and am baking some incredible cupcakes. If you live across the globe and can't attend, then just look up to the stars and ask Nancy to share a little of her light and then like Nancy you will shine shine shine!

Spaced out

2010-06-17T06:51:00.002-05:00

Look up! I think we have become a people of downers. We are constantly looking at the immediate problem and missing the awe of the experience. Ever wish upon a star? Well their are plenty to wish upon and the sky is full of mystery and promise. Our dreams are made of such sky beauty. If life is not what you thought it should be or it is not what you want it to be... then take an hour and gaze up at the night sky and ask why? Listen and you will gain a new perspective. Lie down and just feel your connection to the Earth and Sky.... feel the awesome power and your simple connection to it. You matter, your life matters and each breath you take is a sacred journey. You are alive, let that be enough. When I was a child I lived across the street from a large Cathedral. I used to lay on my back on the parking lot at night and just gaze at the stars ( the open air Cathedral). Those moments did more to form who I am then anything else I can remember. I gained perspective, faith, strength and connection through those moments. I gained more than I can say. Life slips by with stuff to do and to do and to do. Take a moment... cause you matter

beauty travels

2010-06-16T07:37:00.002-05:00

I have discovered something very wonderful. When you leave one beautiful moment, you are met by another one. We carry beauty with us and it is always within us and around us. It was hard for me to leave the beautiful Irish coastline and my dear Irish friends. As I traveled down I44 through the Ozarks I was amazed that my heart was overwhelmingly full of joy and beauty. The sun was shining and I loved the feel of the much too warm for Irish folks weather. I became aware of the love I have for my own country and for my dear familiar spirit friends. When I take my journey from this fleeting life I will take the beauty with me and will be so thrilled to know that it is never left behind. Their is always more around every corner. Keep walking, keep searching and remember you are the carrier of the beauty.... share it.... smile....good to be back!

touching the spirit

2010-06-03T02:55:00.002-05:00

Well my friends I am finally at a computer with an internet service...with some time. I am in Galway Ireland. I am touching the wind each day and so if you want to know pretty close to how I am feeling just put on the song Touch the Wind and listen. Beautiful Earth off the Earth, Fire, Water, Wind album will do it too. I will write alot about Ireland when I get back to my home. I want to share the pictures and videos with my words. I do believe Ireland is the most beautiful place in the world. The people the ancient sites and the natural beauty that surround me, could leave me to believe the world is nothing but perfect. I choose to believe that for the moment. Being human from time to time I consider what is missing ( we humans are such half empty creatures) but it did occur to me that I am missing the birds...my winged friends. And all the four leggeds I get to see in the forest, that I feel are my brothers and my sisters. So life is good everywhere if we will just fill up our glass. Mine I must admit has been filled more than once with Guinness...another truly Irish, ancient spiritual experience...the pub. That is another story, or two.

pics of John

2010-05-27T11:34:00.002-05:00

This picture of John was taken in Europe several years ago. I figured since I am leaving for Europe today I would use this picture. Europeans seem to travel more than Americans. They take more time for holiday and for relaxing. I think that is because material gain is not as important value as we American's see it. I am going to try to "when in Ireland, do as the Irish do" I am hoping that will include for me more relaxation. At this point I am out of my comfort zone. Eight days on the road and many more to go. Newspaper, coffee and bird watching at home have given way to miles of beautiful roads and beautiful smiles. See ya tomorrow or so from the Emerald Isle...it's all good!

Irish Eyes

2010-05-26T08:00:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I fly out to Ireland. I have always wanted to visit Ireland. Ten years ago I had the blessing to meet my dear friend Brother Seamus.

He has been to the States a dozen times to visit us and we had not once been to his home land. Now we head out to see the land that has created this beautiful friend of ours. We will see other great friends too and surely will meet some new ones. After spending 3 days on the playground with my grandson and enjoying laughter, boo boos and many " I love you so much grandma". How can life get any better than this. Part of me could feel guilty... but I won't let it. It is my time to shine. To enjoy and have fun....I do feel a small retionalizatin about to break thru.. humor me.. I have worked very hard and I deserve this. Thank you. I am taking my lap top with me so the blogs may go on...if I can plug in and get an internet connection. What am I most excited about in Ireland.. the music. The pubs and the music. Ready for more stories to share, I hold you all in my heart and you travel with me! Irish Eyes and Emerald Isle here we come!

heart song

2010-05-25T10:35:00.002-05:00

My heart song is eclectic. It has rhythm and rhyme. It has great joy and great sorrow. I've yet to be able to truly share the entire song, nor am I even aware of the scope of the music. But I have always loved music and I hear it in the rustling leaves and the tractors roaring by. When I first saw this image by Cynthia De'Robin I knew it was perfect for the Beauty Music I wanted to share. The water, the sky and the contemplation spoke to me of Seamus, Sir Charles and John Two-Hawks. Little did I know then how short a time they had to create beauty music together. We never know how short a time we have to give the world our heart song. So it is time to cast off all fear and doubt and sing your own true heart song into the world. You were created to sing this song and to share it with those who will appreciate the beauty of your soul. Hide it in your heart and honor your own unique song. We each have a song....it is the music of the heart.

the flute within me

2010-05-24T08:12:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we finished up the flute discovery retreat weekend in Yellow Springs Ohio. What a

wonderful time it was. Today I carry the flute within me. I am filled with the sounds of music, laugher, tears, wonder and revelation from a weekend spent with fellow wonderers and wanderers. I carry the flute within me. I carry the faces and dreams of each person who I had the incredible good fortune of getting to spend spirit time with this weekend. I see so much healing and hope for the world. We go forth breathing healing intent. We go forth accepting who we are and with lightness we touch the earth and recognize all her beauty. The rain was awesome, the sunshine was a delight. The music healed my soul. Oh how I loved watching the birds outside the windex washed windows. Mine at home are never clean... but sometimes a dirty window is also a blessing.... going to the playground...later

new day 4

2010-05-23T06:55:00.002-05:00

Actually this is the 5th day but 4 is just such a wonderful number that I thought I would just call this the 4th day. For all you literal folks, you are probably on the wrong blog. Not much time this morning according to the clock but my intuition tells me different. Do you know not so long ago there were no seconds...and not so long before that clocks, gadgets to measure our every move and people actually still managed, perhaps more consciously. Today I will see my little grandson Jonathan.... I am most excited about that. To play with him, cook for him and love on him is going to be grand. I am actually more excited about this then I was going to the Grammys, but then I don't have to get all dressed up to impress Jonathan and I was nothing at the Grammys but to him I am GRANDMA!! The ultimate award! Nothing much matters about time or schedules when you are playing with a four year old. When Dominick, my oldest grandson was about 5, he and I went to the park. He was on his bike and I was walking. On the way there he said "Grandma, have you ever eaten dirt?" I said "no I don't think I have". He said "I have, do you want to try it?" Being the adventurous type and always up for impressing my grandson...wanting to be the coolest grandma, I said "ok". I thought he will probably forget this before we get to the park. But he didn't. So I got to experience eating dirt that day. It's not all that good. Kind of gritty and yucky... but neither he nor I have ever forgotten the day this cool granny ate dirt. Probably won't write a blog for a couple of days... I'll be at the playground. Later

day 3

2010-05-21T10:03:00.002-05:00

Well here I sit in our tour vehicle, with my new laptop pushing and clicking and swearing. Erasing by mistake and finding cool new stuff on the computer. Like life... just when you think wow things are finally going my way. Suddenly bang.. what?#! where did that come from.... I feel like I hear a voice from beyond say to me "don't even try to get in your comfort zone". Maybe I am getting the message, find some comfort in whatever zone I find myself in.... ok I'll try that. Like the old song "Love the one your with" Great Song... honor the moment you are in. At present I find myself surrounded by beautiful open fields of lush green grass, loving friends, and adventure awaiting my every breath. So that is cool! Perspective is a wonderful thing. To find the blessings, the beauty, the magic in this day can afford comfort. I love the line from Iris Dements song "easy's gettin harder everyday". So take that road less traveled, the pavement of faith even though you can't see the next turn and the road is full of pitfalls like the Arkansas back rd that we love to travel. There we discover hidden treasures. That is where you find the awe moments, not on the sofa tuned into channel

C- O- M- F- O- R- T. Maybe I am talking to you here... but I am most definetly talking to ME!

Travel On...

on the road again

2010-05-18T08:42:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we head out. Preparing for the road is a dance of insanity. Retreats, concerts, grandkids, flights, foreign countries... just a few things to pack and prepare for. I have little yellow post it notes everywhere. Ireland stuff note, flute retreat note, business stuff etc. etc. But it is fun and I seem to thrive in the chaos. That is my art, chaos to order. Bringing life to an intention or an idea. Planning, pruning, sweating and delivering. My life, not so bad. I will try my best to continue my writing on the road. I have a new laptop and a wi fi connection. I don't know about Ireland though, but I will write when I can. We will take you all on our journey, ambassadors of peace and healing beings, in our hearts and in our thoughts you travel with us. blessings....peace

breathing

2010-05-14T08:29:00.002-05:00

Last night I had a sweet young woman take me aside and say to me " I am on a spiritual journey" she said. I just looked at her, because my thought was 'yes'.. 'and' ..because she might as well taken me aside and said " I am breathing". But I snapped out of my duhh mode and tuned in to listen to what she was saying. Basically she was saying I recognize who I am but I live in a world that seems blind to who I am. I listened and made my profound suggestion. Attend a Mending Medicine retreat. That is all I could think of because that is where I feel surrounded by people who are surrounded by spirit and live in spirit as effortlessly as breathing. We are all on a spiritual journey. Eating, sleeping, working, playing.. it is all connected to spirit. Each step is a prayer, a lesson, a spiritual journey. We may live in these bodies, but they are no more than a vehicle. Would you mistake who you are and think the car you drive in, is you? Of course not, you step out of the car when you arrive at your destination. You know the car is not you, certainly this body is not us. We will step out of this body when we arrive at our destination.
This is most certainly a spiritual journey. Do I know what and why and when. No. But I can figure out that we can touch each other spirit to spirit. I can figure out that it is all a circle and we will certainly step out of this cramped body into a larger, free and loving place.

Circle of Love

2010-05-13T16:42:00.004-05:00

Recently someone told me that a person they spoke to said what does your community "do".
I have been pondering this question. And as I think over the individuals that are connected with our group, I would have to write a book to come up with what they "do". But we like to focus more on who they are, rather than what they do. Oh believe me they do plenty, donating time, money and effort to The World Drum Project, Heifer International, White Bison, Haiti relief, Pine Ridge relief and on and on. They are generously giving of their time, prayers to people in need and looking after the planet in a mindful and loving way. They are becoming people of spirit and conviction. The Circle of Nations Community is a consciousness based community. It is not a political or religious group. It is as difficult to describe the Circle of Nations Community as it is to describe the wind. It is a community made up of people who care and are connected to the plant people, the winged, the four legged, the water, wind, earth, fire. We are a people who love each other and this planet. We walk in truth and beauty. We are not perfect, we are not flawless. Our flaws actually make up the beauty of our bouquet. We laugh together, cry together and pray together. We rejoice in each other's triumphs and grieve with each other's losses. We do not judge but rather encourage, we do not exclude but rather include. I can see your faces and hear your laughter. I can feel your pain and know your longing for a better world. You champion justice, you right the wrongs and give away what truly matters. You are love, we are love... that is the Circle of Nations Global Community.

crazy world

2010-05-12T18:23:00.002-05:00

Does it seem a little too much lately. I don't need to tell you about the ocean turning black the hurricane and the tornados and on and on. You can see that on tv, read it in the paper or just feel it deep down in your bones. Sooooooooo what do you do. You can pray, you can love and you can do your best to walk softly on mother earth. What else...Only one things comes to mind. Hold on and go with the flow. Love deeper, laugh louder, work harder, rest with more intention. Fear is useless and this crazy world needs no more negative energy. Get close to the earth, take a walk, eat vegetables ( after you thank them) Read a book of jokes, watch children play. Admire a wildflower and find a way to listen to the birds sing directly to you. This is not denial, this is keeping your center as the world spins faster and faster. Get to the middle of the Merry-go-round, you will find some balance there. The breeze still feels sweet and a kind word spoken to a hurting soul still heals the world.

6:00am

2010-05-11T07:00:00.002-05:00

So this is what 6:00 am looks like. It's just me and the crows...even the finches have the good sence to sleep in. Well with coffee brewing I will let my eyes begin to focus on the day. I do love sleep. I know that is probably a sin of some sort but just add it to the list. When I wake up and it is 9:00 am, I feel like I have accomplished a great feat, like I am some kind of laid back gal. Ha Ha you who know me better probably wonder if I sleep at all. I do and I love it!! But being a woman and being connected to so much around me, it doesn't take a whole lot to disturb my sleep. Things to do, people to care about, prayers left undone and a miriad of brilliant ideas swimming around in my head can awake me from the most awesome dream. Last nights dream I was just about to head to a shore line of a beautiful beach on a sunny day to sun bathe and swim. Suddenly I am awake thinking about dirty windows... What!!?? So here I am 6:00am and way too tired to wash windows. Isn't being human fun... rise and shine friends!

motherhood

2010-05-09T08:46:00.002-05:00

No word more epitomizes love than mom. I realize all of us had human moms. Some were not so good and some were incredible. I was one of the lucky ones to have one of those GREAT moms. I consider myself a pretty great mom and I know that my daughter, who is mother of my three grandsons is a GREAT mom.
So perhaps the great mom DNA has traveled down the family line. When I was little and I said what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always a mom. I have been so blessed to have been able to fulfill that wish. I have no granddaughters so perhaps the mom DNA from my side will end with my daughter. I am so proud of her.... she is the modern mom, career, kids, facebook, cellphone glued to her head. She loves her boys, her husband and she is incredibly hard working. I have two sons that I am also so proud of. Thank God one lives close to me the other kids and grandkids are all far away so I only get to see them a couple of times a year... this is the sadness I carry. But the gladness is to have them to visit and love and send Christmas, birthday and just general I love you stuff. Being a mom is not easy, it is the most difficult task in the world. It will break your heart, leave you bleeding and fill you with more inadequacy and fear than you thought were possible. But when you place the pain on the scale it never seems to outweigh the pure joy of magic and moments and laughter and kissing boo boo's Mom is love.....

beautiful beautiful

2010-05-06T16:44:00.002-05:00

ok... now I know she is gonna kill me but I am gonna risk it all.... cause I like to live on the wild side.
I don't know that I have met anyone lovelier than this lady, although I am sure there must be many and certainly you all know one. She is witty and smart. She is generous and hard loving! No body's fool. Life is about special moments and special people. We always remember how wonderful they were when they are gone. I am not gonna do that I am going to experience how wonderful she is while she is here. This Cherokee woman of wisdom is my sister, my friend and is as diverse as the forest. She can dance in the pow-wow, enjoy Nascar, create, pray and laugh all in the same moment. I saw this incredible photo and knew you would all agree she is one in a million. She is gonna kill me! Shower the people you love with love... I can never give back to her all she has given me but I can at least say I think she is beautiful, beautiful

too busy

2010-05-05T21:37:00.003-05:00

Ever been too busy. The day just seems to slip away...then a week.... a month....a life
that is how I feel today. I meant to write my blog this morning but now the sun has set and I am closing in on David Letterman. My list is lost under the pile of papers I planned to sort thru today. My good intentions have been eatin up by the phone, the computer and energy spent being just too busy. Maybe I need therapy, but who has the time. I have been wanting to Blog about Garth Mansion. John and I spent last weekend there. It was wonderful fun and I made myself stay an extra day because I needed the beauty and the nurturing of the historic mansion and the hospitality of Julie and John ( the Inn keepers)
I needed the humor of their son Sean and the laughter and teasing that Julie dishes out along with her incredible homemade, cooked with love meals. She is the one who taught me about happy sugar. So I needed that time for myself and it has put me behind on my list, which I can't find anyway. Tomorrow is another day...maybe I will just make a new list goodnight

make a wish

2010-05-04T08:23:00.002-05:00

Would you believe that I still believe in making birthday wishes. Those are strong wishes because they only come once a year and only work if loved ones bring you a birthday cake with candles. I never wanted to waste them so my first wish was for 3 more wishes. Even a little trader back then. The second most powerful wish maker is the one you see here. But you have to be able to blow the entire weed clean, too much work and no cake after, therfore second.
However a wish is still a wish and a powerful intention on its own. It tells us who we are and what we really want. It is not clouded by what others think we should have or what is responsible or likely to occur. Anyone ever wish for a migraine headache ( I don't think so). Wishing is good especially if you connect it to contentment. It means I want this, but I don't have to have it to be happy. But I expect I will get it because I believe. Simple but profound truth. There are fields of dandelions calling your name. Make a Wish!

kindness

2010-04-23T09:45:00.002-05:00

Today I have chosen to use no picture because my subject matter is so important. Kindness!
I remember some things my dad taught me before he died. I was 12 years old when he passed away and I don't remember much of those early years but I remember this.
Dad would say "if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all" Profound wisdom in that saying, he meant don't hurt other peoples feelings. He meant other people count. He meant have compassion and wisdom. He once said " I was feeling sorry for myself when I had no pair of new shoes, until I saw a man with no feet". There were many more saying that would be so foreign to our modern day society about what matters and how to treat one another. But it all boils down to Kindness. Being kind does not mean you have no backbone, being kind to yourself is as equally important as being kind to others. And let us not forget being kind to the earth, the four legged, the plants and all of creation. I am sure that everyone who reads this blog has been hurt by the unkind and unthoughtful words of another. When I was a little girl, I made fun of a boy at my school, I have always felt bad about that, even after 40 years, As an adult I see the scars from childhood that people carry. Remember I told you in the past, my name could have been Polyanna. This is not fake, this is just me... I care... guess my daddy taught me that. BE KIND

Mother Earth thank you

2010-04-22T08:49:00.002-05:00

good morning mother, they choose this day to honor you, however you honor us everday.
I know my words are far too small to connect to the feeling of gratitude I have inside.
I would have to recall every second of my life and fill each second with beautiful images of you to describe your constant wonder. From the waves of Lake Michigan to the natural beauty of the Ozarks. I recall the simple yellow rose that lifted my spirit when my life fell apart. The rainbow across More Mountain when my hope was gone. The strength of the ocean, the whisper of the wind, the taste of a juicy blueberry fresh off the grove. Strawberries love, watermelon magic, gentle rain forgiveness, sunshine fun, and on and on. there really is no way to say thanks!

worth the sadness

2010-04-21T08:27:00.003-05:00

I have lived a year of my life without my biggest fan. Without the one who told me "go for it" and "step out of your comfort zone". To Father Bob I was always 10 years old and he never quit delighting in my inner child. No one else has laughed as loud and as long at my jokes. Not having heard that laughter in my physical ears this year has given me an ear ache. Not having his huge bear hugs has given me a heartache. Tomorrow will be one year since his passing. There is still a big gaping hole in my being... but it is worth the sadness to have loved with such gladness. It is worth the tears and I am thankful for the years. I would not be who I am without
him. I could not write this blog or sing my songs. For 45 years you were my hero here on earth for ever more you will continue to be my angel. I have been blessed to have 2 wonderful dads.
I have certainly learned that love is worth the loss. Tears are worth the laughter and as your legacy goes on and on I realize there is no death.. just a changing of worlds.

yellow for love

2010-04-20T10:03:00.002-05:00

Yellow is spring. It says I am here, not too worry, life continues. Hope is what we all cling to in this sinking ship called life. As the waves threaten to swollow us up, we look for a rescue a life jacket a new morning. Yellow for love.
Flowers, such a marvelous gift from creator.
Happy Earth Day!!
go and play with her.

paths

2010-04-19T09:53:00.002-05:00

We just completed the Creative Expressions retreat weekend. It has stirred a longing in my soul for more creativity, more art, more beauty and more love. My Monday morning planning lists are like these steps they give me some boundaries, some direction. I still cannot see what lies beyond my plans. I can dream and fill my life with intention, but what lies at the top of this journey is still a mystery, no matter how well I lay my plans. It seems to me Creators perfect plan to leave the mystery be. To give us an opportunity to grow roots, character and faith by not knowing where our next breath leads. We experience miracles and develop gratitude when we open our hearts to whatever may come. We fly when we risk and we find courage when we cast off fear. The choice is up to us. Stay on the ground in our safe place of quiet desperation or put one foot in front of the other with determination and step up to a higher ground. Comfort zones are really only an illusion. As Iris Dement says "Easy is getting harder every day". A very wise man once told me..." step out of your comfort zone". I have been stepping and sometimes I even get to experience what it means to let my spirit soar. Can't find that feeling on the ground. So I will repeat this treasure of wisdom bestowed upon me and invite you who are reading to step out, look up and dare!

Creative Expressions

2010-04-16T08:38:00.002-05:00

This weekend is our Creative Expressions retreat in Eureka Springs AR. So of course my mind is on Creative everything. Creative movement, creative meals, creative thoughts, creative music, creative people. This is one of my favorite retreats because it is like dancing and singing our way into our souls. We have a nice mixture of new retreatants, Circle of Nations members, men, women from across the country. I suspect that I will find some new creative energy which has been lying dormant in my being. Beauty is what I think of when I think of the expressing myself creatively. If I could paint I would have painted the wonderful cover of Beauty Music that Cynthia D'Robbins painted. Inside of each one of us is a ton of hidden talent and belief. Go creative expression hunting and find the hidden treasure in yourself. Life is so fun when you cast off all the negative messages and fear that seems to hold us back from experiencing the total crazy beauty of it all. So fly, sing, create and be!

heart song

2010-04-15T07:27:00.002-05:00

This is LJ... Joe Chamberlains little one. I am crazy about him. He is a ball of creative energy. He loves to throw rocks in my pond (when I am not looking) and after I have asked him ten times not to do it. Why does he do it, I suppose because is it fun... it is a boy thing. I have known LJ since he was only a few days old. He is my little buddy. I fed him him strawberry pie when he didn't even have teeth. This is probably the reason he likes me. Anyway last time LJ came to visit me, along with his insane energy and undaunting irreverence, he shared an incredible gift with me. He shared his heart song. Now I am more in love with him then ever. LJ has been raised very traditionally. He has a community of Indian folks that love and support him. He has a grandfather that is teaching him the important lessons in life. From this teaching springs freedom, creativity and a heart song. LJ will sing you his heart song if it comes out of him while you are present. It is a beautiful old Indian vocable that comes straight from his heart. We all have a heart song, but maybe it has been squashed by critical words or empty ears. I know LJ will start school soon. I worry for him that his heart song will be burried among the ruins of conformity and rigidity. But I know I will never forget the tenderness and ancient wisdom I heard in his voice as he sang his heart song... so it will forever live in my soul. It is causing me to try to remember my heart song and to sing it once again if only for my own ears... today, find your song and sing it!

Having Fun

2010-04-10T08:22:00.002-05:00

I am sitting in Chattanooga Tenn. I love this town. Since we arrived on Wed, we have just been having a great time. The first day here we discovered some of the wonderful art on the River and in the art galleries..wow wow wow! I am in my element. Good food, great art, wonderful music and beautiful friends. This combo does not always come together. So, picture me smiling! John plays with the Symphony tonight. Watched rehearsal last night and was just filled with gratitude for the opportunity to share this spirit filled flute music with other incredible musicians. Now I have a myriad of new experiences to write about. But I will sign off for now, so I can go explore some more. Word for today.... Have fun!

take time to feel

2010-04-06T10:18:00.002-05:00

Ever feel sad? I do quite often. This blog is probably meant more for women than men. But you guys who read may learn something about women. We are feeling creatures. We are connected creatures. John always teaches that men are like TV dinners and women like beef stew. Men are compartmentalized.. but women are swimming around touching and feeling everything. Nancy Cooper Maier wrote a song about taking the time to feel, whether happy or sad. So today I am going to take her advice and feel this sadness. Is there a reason... half the time for women we don't need a reason. We can blame it on hormones. But I have a few reasons for being sad and I don't need an excuse to feel this way. Crying is good. Sometimes I can't seem to bring on the tears and sometimes I can't stop them. This is a normal reaction to life. Usually as women if we can't get in touch with our emotions it is because someone, somewhere lied to us....Big girls Do Cry! Hey, even Big boys Do Cry! As it is with laughter, tears prolong and enrich our lives. When I am finished being sad... I shall be equally as happy... so let the sadness begin. Women, we are marvelous creatures!